Write a poem. Then use Google Translator to translate a poem into either French or Italian. Then handwrite it out with the translation on the back side....
That sounded like a cute idea, but I worried that it might land some very sweet gentlemen in Deep Trouble with their ladies. So I conducted a (wildly unscientific) test, which I began by composing this short poem:
Darling, I love you; I am so glad you're mine.
Your eyes are like stars and your lips are divine.
Your touch is so thrilling, I crave it like wine.
I am yours, my sweet, 'til the end of all time.
Ahem. Well. It was the best I could do after a solid two minutes of thought. But it was sufficient, I judged, for the purposes of my test, so I clicked over to the Google translator. Here's my poem in French:
Darling, Je t'aime, je suis si heureux que vous mine.
Vos yeux sont comme des étoiles et vos lèvres sont divines.
Votre contact est tellement passionnant, je solliciterai il comme le vin.
Je suis vôtre, ma douce, jusqu'à la fin de tous les temps.
Wow. That looks very sexy. Unfortunately, I don't speak French, so I have no idea whether it's a clear translation or not. I asked Google to translate the French into German and got this:
Darling, ich liebe dich, ich bin so glücklich, dass du mine.
Deine Augen sind wie die Sterne, und deine Lippen sind königlich.
Ihr Ansprechpartner ist so spannend, wie ich es anfordern Wein.
Ich bin Ihr, meine süsse, bis zum Ende aller Zeiten.
That looks very pretty, but I don't speak German, either. And after I got the translation, I realized that the suggestion had been to present the poem in French or Italian. But Google offers no German-to-Italian option, so I just asked to have my poem switched back to English. And then...
Horrors! What has Google done to my poem?
Darling, I love you, I am so happy that you are mine.
Your eyes are like the stars, and your lips are royalty.
Your contact is so exciting, as I request wine.
I am you, my sweet, to the end of all time.
Goodness. And I thought it was a bad poem before the translations.
In conclusion, gentlemen, the Google translator is not a safe toy. Using it in this way could seriously damage your relationship. Even if your beloved doesn't speak French, you know very well that she'd show your poem to all of her friends who do. And how do you think she'd react when told that you think she looks like an ostrich and smells like a cow?
I wouldn't risk it. Rather than present your lady with a love poem in a language you don't speak fluently, stick with the tried-and-true. Flowers, chocolates, and diamonds are never wrong.