Monday, January 09, 2006

These warning labels should come with a warning

Note to Bonnie: Put your coffee mug down, sweetheart. This is going to be one of those posts....

Thanks to Will at Clicked for pointing me to M-LAW (Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch), which sponsors an annual Wacky Warning Label Contest to "expose how frivolous lawsuits, and a concern about potential frivolous lawsuits, have led to a new cultural phenomenon: the wacky warning label."

M-LAW verifies the warning labels people send in and selects the finalists (the winners are determined by radio listeners). There's a long list of warnings at the site, but here are some of the good ones, along with my comments:

A label on a baby stroller warns: “Remove child before folding."
Well, of course. I wouldn't want to risk harming the stroller when I fold the child.

A brass fishing lure with a three-pronged hook on the end warns: “Harmful if swallowed."
Quick. Somebody warn the fish.

A cartridge for a laser printer warns, “Do not eat toner.”
But I was hoping it would help me tan faster.

A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists says: “Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.”
Aw, rats. You mean I'm going to have to buy a helmet, too?

A can of self-defense pepper spray warns users: “May irritate eyes."
Oh, dear. I'm afraid I was looking for a more humane way to discourage muggers.

A dishwasher carries this warning: “Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher.”
Easy for you to say. What's a harried mother supposed to do when the clothes dryer is broken?"


I saved the best for last:

The label on a bottle of drain cleaner warns: “If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product.”


Yeah. Same goes for this blog.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

yel, you warn bonnie, but not me,
I had a spoonful of yogurt, in my mouth, lets just say it burns though the noise :)
I'm awake now
janice

rlh said...

Hey, Brenda. I sometimes use Lunesta, a non-narcotic sleep aid. On the side of the prescription bottle, they've adhered a sticker that warns me the use of these pills can cause "dizziness or drowsiness." I laughed when I read it. I mean, these things are very expensive (about $4.00 per pill). The whole point of taking a sleep aid is that I WANT them to make me drowsy! They'd better or I want a refund!

Chris said...

Warning on yogurt container: May cause burning sensation if reverse aspirated nasally.

--Chris

Anonymous said...

ya got that right!
but it didn't :D
jan

Kristin said...

One of my old favorites, not really a warning, just superfluous instructions:

On Fruit Roll-ups (at least, last time I had one): "Remove cellophane wrapper prior to eating."

I was wondering what the waxy taste was...

Karen said...

*laughing!*

Thanks Brenda, you made my Monday a little bit brighter.

Dennie McDonald said...

LOL! thanks for sharing the funnies!

pacatrue said...

The classic is, or used to be, on packages of American Airline peanuts: Warning: contains nuts.

Brenda Coulter said...

And I hope somebody called them on that, Pacatrue, because peanuts are not nuts. They're legumes.

Chris said...

WARNING: Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball (wish I could find a video clip).

--Chris

1 L Loyd said...

=D =D =D =D =D XD

I'm good for a while.

Bonnie Calhoun said...

Oh, Brenda...LOL....ROFLOL...thanks for the warning they were great. I put the cup down, but hadn't swalled yet....thinking...how bad could it be!!!

Yea, you got it...I need to go get a paper towel. My sweatshirt is mopping the keys as I type!

Bonnie Calhoun said...

Cleaned up the mess, I'm giving you a shout out post link on this one for Wednesday! Still ROFLOL!