Monday, January 09, 2006

These warning labels should come with a warning

Note to Bonnie: Put your coffee mug down, sweetheart. This is going to be one of those posts....

Thanks to Will at Clicked for pointing me to M-LAW (Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch), which sponsors an annual Wacky Warning Label Contest to "expose how frivolous lawsuits, and a concern about potential frivolous lawsuits, have led to a new cultural phenomenon: the wacky warning label."

M-LAW verifies the warning labels people send in and selects the finalists (the winners are determined by radio listeners). There's a long list of warnings at the site, but here are some of the good ones, along with my comments:

A label on a baby stroller warns: “Remove child before folding."
Well, of course. I wouldn't want to risk harming the stroller when I fold the child.

A brass fishing lure with a three-pronged hook on the end warns: “Harmful if swallowed."
Quick. Somebody warn the fish.

A cartridge for a laser printer warns, “Do not eat toner.”
But I was hoping it would help me tan faster.

A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists says: “Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.”
Aw, rats. You mean I'm going to have to buy a helmet, too?

A can of self-defense pepper spray warns users: “May irritate eyes."
Oh, dear. I'm afraid I was looking for a more humane way to discourage muggers.

A dishwasher carries this warning: “Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher.”
Easy for you to say. What's a harried mother supposed to do when the clothes dryer is broken?"

I saved the best for last:

The label on a bottle of drain cleaner warns: “If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product.”

Yeah. Same goes for this blog.


Anonymous said...

yel, you warn bonnie, but not me,
I had a spoonful of yogurt, in my mouth, lets just say it burns though the noise :)
I'm awake now

rlh said...

Hey, Brenda. I sometimes use Lunesta, a non-narcotic sleep aid. On the side of the prescription bottle, they've adhered a sticker that warns me the use of these pills can cause "dizziness or drowsiness." I laughed when I read it. I mean, these things are very expensive (about $4.00 per pill). The whole point of taking a sleep aid is that I WANT them to make me drowsy! They'd better or I want a refund!

Chris said...

Warning on yogurt container: May cause burning sensation if reverse aspirated nasally.


Anonymous said...

ya got that right!
but it didn't :D

Kristin said...

One of my old favorites, not really a warning, just superfluous instructions:

On Fruit Roll-ups (at least, last time I had one): "Remove cellophane wrapper prior to eating."

I was wondering what the waxy taste was...

Karen said...


Thanks Brenda, you made my Monday a little bit brighter.

Dennie McDonald said...

LOL! thanks for sharing the funnies!

pacatrue said...

The classic is, or used to be, on packages of American Airline peanuts: Warning: contains nuts.

Brenda Coulter said...

And I hope somebody called them on that, Pacatrue, because peanuts are not nuts. They're legumes.

Chris said...

WARNING: Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball (wish I could find a video clip).


1 L Loyd said...

=D =D =D =D =D XD

I'm good for a while.

Bonnie Calhoun said...

Oh, Brenda...LOL....ROFLOL...thanks for the warning they were great. I put the cup down, but hadn't swalled bad could it be!!!

Yea, you got it...I need to go get a paper towel. My sweatshirt is mopping the keys as I type!

Bonnie Calhoun said...

Cleaned up the mess, I'm giving you a shout out post link on this one for Wednesday! Still ROFLOL!