Thanks to Will at Clicked for pointing me to M-LAW (Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch), which sponsors an annual Wacky Warning Label Contest to "expose how frivolous lawsuits, and a concern about potential frivolous lawsuits, have led to a new cultural phenomenon: the wacky warning label."
M-LAW verifies the warning labels people send in and selects the finalists (the winners are determined by radio listeners). There's a long list of warnings at the site, but here are some of the good ones, along with my comments:
A label on a baby stroller warns: “Remove child before folding."
Well, of course. I wouldn't want to risk harming the stroller when I fold the child.
A brass fishing lure with a three-pronged hook on the end warns: “Harmful if swallowed."
Quick. Somebody warn the fish.
A cartridge for a laser printer warns, “Do not eat toner.”
But I was hoping it would help me tan faster.
A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists says: “Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.”
Aw, rats. You mean I'm going to have to buy a helmet, too?
A can of self-defense pepper spray warns users: “May irritate eyes."
Oh, dear. I'm afraid I was looking for a more humane way to discourage muggers.
A dishwasher carries this warning: “Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher.”
Easy for you to say. What's a harried mother supposed to do when the clothes dryer is broken?"
I saved the best for last:
The label on a bottle of drain cleaner warns: “If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product.”
Yeah. Same goes for this blog.