Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Who knew spam was so much fun?

Just now as I was cleaning spam out of my e-mail inbox, my finger paused over the "delete" key as I squinted at the subject line of one message. It looked like spam, but I have some pretty strange friends, so it's not always easy to tell. I opened the message just to be sure I wasn't missing some legitimate communication.

I wasn't. It was spam. But it was the best spam I've ever read. Here in its entirety is the text of the message:

Bonbons remain orbiting. Now and then, line dancer defined by umbrella trade baseball cards with for tabloid. Furthermore, stalactite defined by meditates, and apartment building inside girl figure out over cowboy. Unlike so many haunches who have made their frustrating tomato to us. Now and then, living with bride fall in love with around hydrogen atom. Bride from burglar behind roller coaster, and about wheelbarrow make love to parking lot.


I never did figure out what they were trying to sell me, but I'm posting this in the hope that it will inspire some of you creative people who are currently sifting through ideas for your next writing projects. Let me know if this is any help.

13 comments:

Chris said...

Yeah, thanks for dredging up horrible memories of that time those haunches made their frustrating tomato to me. That wound's never going to heal, so squeeze a little lemon on it, huh.

Bonnie Calhoun said...

Is it a word puzzle where your supposed to pick every fourth or fifth word or something? Other than that,I think the poster was on something:-)

Katrina Stonoff said...

It looks to me like something fiction writing software would create.

I imagine the code looks something like this:
[introductory clause], [male subject name][verb+past tense]the[adjective][adjective][direct object noun][preposition] the [location noun].

Mirtika said...

"Bonbons remain orbiting." I'm pretty sure that was the first line of an Asimov story.

About as sure that Chris had an encounter with a haunch and its frustrating tomato.

I never trust haunches. Never!

Mir

Mirtika said...

Wait...I think...yes...I'm having a DADA moment. Oh, never mind. It was a NyetNyet moment.

It'll pass just as soon as I catch me some orbital bonbons.

Mir

Cindy said...

I received a spam recently that was allegedly in Swedish...translated on BabelFish, it came out just as confused! BTW, longtime reader, first-time commentor :-).

Robyn said...

Sounds like mad libs to me.

Brenda Coulter said...

No, I think it sounds more like Jabberwocky. (If our beamish boy Chris had only taken his vorpal sword in hand, matters between him and those horrible haunches might have turned out very diferently!)

Cindy, thanks for speaking up (finally). Sheesh. What are all you lurkers so afraid of?
;-)

Mirtika said...

We're afraid you'll hit us on the head with that huge honking vase of a coffee cup. :)

Mir

Chris said...

Aaah, the vorpal blade. Cut through those haunches in seconds and still slice their frustrating tomatoes paper thin. Yes, things might have turned out quite differently had I been packing steel.

Brenda Coulter said...

I don't doubt it, Chris.

We're afraid you'll hit us on the head with that huge honking vase of a coffee cup.

Come, now, Mir. Surely you know me better than that. Even if you deserved it, I'd never risk spilling my cafe latte!

Cindy said...

Swords and deadly coffee cups...perhaps it's safer in the shadows! LOL

Brenda Coulter said...

Yes, probably. But not nearly as much fun!